DATELINE: 1995 – Fueled by liberal reform and technological progress, the world prepares for a golden age of prosperity. Eazy-E makes peace with Dre and Ice Cube, Coolio rides to the beach on a chariot of dreams, and the Quad City DJs look forward to a long, lucrative career as musical innovators.

Life was so simple in those pre-Kazaam days, when all you needed was a dot-com and a loose business model to make it big. But even the downturn-cum-recession-cum-depression-cum-apocalyptic-cluster-fuck of 2008 hasn’t stripped away the last vestige of those happier times.

Buried deep in an overstock warehouse somewhere in the US, a retail time capsule was discovered with 65 vintage snapback Starter caps, complete with original tags. And these ripstop, suede, wool, and cotton gems have, in Indiana Jones-esque fashion, fallen into the hands of Harvard Square’s Proletariat.

The store says they only have one or two caps per team, so if you’re interested, don’t ask questions — just start walking to Cambridge now. Believe me, you don’t want to look like a bandwagon fan when the Bruins take it home this year.