A 50-year-old Boston man was arrested last weekend after police officers say he nearly urinated on two pedestrians. I would paraphrase the details, but the write-up from the BPD website is out of control:

SOUTHIE URINATOR ALMOST DRENCHES TWO

At about 6:52pm, on Saturday, June 14, 2008, officers from Area C-6 (South Boston) responded to a radio call for underage individuals attempting to buy alcohol in the area of East Broadway and K Streets. On arrival, officers, instead, observed a white male sitting on the stoop in front of 674 East Broadway urinating onto the public sidewalk below. As the suspect was urinating, several citizens were walking in the immediate area. As officers approached the area, they noticed two individuals walking, unknowingly, towards the suspects arching stream of urine. Officers quickly yelled to the citizens thus alerting and enabling them to avoid being struck by the golden sprinkling. Officers arrested Donald Kalil, 50, of Boston and charged him with Open & Gross Lewdness and Indecent Exposure. When asked to explain his actions, the suspect told officers, “I had to go real bad.” BPDNews.com via Bostonist